BOOMbox&raindrops.

hellogoodbye

2009-10-11T04:33:00.000-07:00

@ eunicelau.lj

No o ne

2009-07-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

"While honesty is never complicated,speaking the truth in all its simplicity unfortunately raises disbelief sometimes, and at other times,arouses suspicion".

It's like i'm perpetually happy and sad at the same time.happy AND sad.never one emotion at a time.but just as everything else comes and fades away,I'm ready to experience how detachment feels.

No time for regrets I wanna go cycling again (!!!!)

ISN'T IT GORGEOUS

2009-07-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

happy buffday bestfriend!!:)

anyway as the title suggests I really think the macritchie is so awesome in the morning and I'm so proud that we've been successfully going back as planned every sat for our ProjectKeepFit hehe not Project-Let's-be-hot or whatever but simply to keep ourselves fit and healthy!Also ketchup time:):) I'm so glad we still keep each other close even though you're like in poly and we have different schedules,loveyou!

So yesterday I met up with jiaaaa!:)after 1 and a half years of not seeing/talking to each other!so so happy we got to catch up over dinner at spizza (which is a really lovely place I wanna go back)and dessert which we travelled all the way to town for haha but that was vnice I miss!&like the coolest thing is that we can still continue talking despite the time apart I'm really glad for a friend like her who've been with me since..primary 3!and through netball and many other things that belong to a very bittersweet past:) bittersweet cos everybody goes through regrets and foolish decisions when they're young!and we had nice conversations...about everyone/everything.Last night just left me feeling very,contented and happy with where I'm at and what I've been through..the people that have been there for me through it all and the people who were put in my life for a reason.&as we took a long wandering walk after dessert to destination nowhere I really felt at peace with myself.for many many things and though that left me with a somewhat heavy heart I shall take it all in as a part of growing up!

oh and I found my dream on the streets last night and I think I'm gonna work towards it from now.

Hi,

2009-06-23T03:19:00.000-07:00

I got tired of waiting.

///

(the bed where you lie is made up on your side)

Past events;

2009-06-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

farewell

imitating atheens 'no-smudge' smile

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALECIA ZAKARIAAAA!

so for Eclectic Day Paw wins hands-down HAHA

couz<3>

Yay so that was my past few weekends:)

14 MORE DAYS TO MIDS!14!how did we get done to that the hols just begun :( ohman I cant believe i'm treating this hols like it's dec!I'm not kidding the other day iceskating with kelly I was like "woah,feels like christmas does it feel like christmas to you?"

crazy right?It's insane I am so unmotivated why why why.It's like learning there are other alternatives to getting my dream career just makes me feel so... relaxed and sloppish.my posts are so boring I'm actually blogging about my studies!but that's prolly how it's gonna be from now on..whatever I need to do something and not just say it.

okay Things I have to do:

1. No more FB/MSN/blogging (unless necessary or smth) 2. STUDY(!!!) NO DISTRACTIONS ALLOWED [means no Tv!:( :( :( ]

- - - - - - - - - - -

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned

All I am is Yours.

Better than,

2009-06-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Better than the riches of this world,
Better than the sound of my friends voices
Better than the biggest dreams of my heart
That's just the start.

Better than getting what I say I need,
Better than living the life that I want to
Better than the love anyone could give,
Your love is

& You hold me now,
In your arms and never let me go

You O Lord makes the sun shine
and the moon light in the nightsky
You give me breath and all your love
I give my heart to You

- - - - - -
So studying with grace on wed and this song started playing on my ipod and at first I was like 'ohman this song!from chapel since sec.1' and to me it felt like "just another song" you know,a fast one too and everyone knows I'm a sucker for slow sad songs so this song was simply heard in passing all the time.then it hit me like a bucket full of cold,ice water.only that the words left me warm and tingly.I think for the first time since the past 3 years these words spoke to me again.I mean it did/had,I'd loved this song since sec.1 but this was different cos' I truly understand now what this song means,especially to me.Amazing?Truly.
I guess this applies to everyone in general ( though I am not trying to impose my views on anyone ) but yeaah.how often we travel far and wide (metaphorically) and search deep deep within just to find something,comforting.something to provide you with an ease of mind,temporal or not.Yet when it all comes to a standstill it hits you right in between the eyes (and it hits you hard) the cold fact that nothing remains.Nothing you've been searching for has ever been something you really wanted.

ohwells it's 11:11 now,
make a wish quick and hope with every beat of your heart it'll come true.

Letter to myself.

2009-06-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

fine you win but you don't even care.
this is not fair I think I'm actually feeling green!!how is it possible I hatechu :(
- - - - - - - - - - -
so last wed was a semidisaster.slipping in and out of consciousness it felt as if I was in a coma.and everything near me made me wanna puke;and that feeling is awful.anyway I attempted to do the self-awakening essay just now but what on earth lit is really discouraging it's not even supposed to be this way mids are coming and i'm freaking out.plus I need more self-control.and motivation.and I need to see my friendsssss.[HI JIA I'M SO SORRY WE HAVENT MET IN A YR :( ] ugh life gets so ... depressing sometimes when you're stuck at home with so many temptations like the tv/computer/food.everytime I'm reading my notes I have something else at the back of my mind I need the focused eunice back asap!I think I've lost my head...........

I NEED INSPIRATION,
(not just another negotiation)

Mixtape.

2009-06-05T04:35:00.000-07:00

eight days after what I saw happened and I think I'm finally ready to let myself think about it.

I don't know,maybe to me it felt like you,betrayed my trust?cos' on one hand I was fighting every bad comment about you that you're not like this or not like that because I thought I knew you better than they did but I don't.I really don't.wait a minute,do you even know who you are?because if you don't,pls stop trying to show me especially who you want me to think you are cos' I am sick and tired of defending you or coming up with I don't know,pathetic excuses for you.pathetic.you make me so pissed and upset at the same time and I hope this was all over-reading of things and that you're actually still you,just moving ahead.

you know right now with things like that but in a different time period I could feel happy for you,and I try my very best to force out feelings of joy but I can't

pls give me lots of time

and space

who compares to you.

2009-06-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

If there's anything I got out from my busy weekend would be the 'shopping trip' with the chin sibz.they are really awesome people to hang with,I mean cousins yes we're related by blood but this was different.simple,ordinary conversations with my couz and that was it.It was..normal.I mean after not seeing/talking to each other since cny (seriously cny doesnt feel so long ago to me) you'd think we'd have to come up with those boring social conversations like 'yeah so how've you been'/'how's school'/'do you have a boyfriend yet' but it wasnt exactly like that.I had a great weekend.strolling in town in the scorching heat I got the opportunity to share the sibling love they had for each other.the newfound admiration and respect each held for the other.
it was nice, the occasional teasing and the 'what is that woman wearing' looks we'd throw at each other ha ha.
I think growing up all of us moved in differend directions and last night was just a v.pleasant reminder that things are still the same between all of us I likeee : )

anyway,got this from my couz;

Can you pull your head out a moment and try to find a second just to breathe?
I was trying to be a picture, a pillar of solidity you see?
But you weren't listening too hard,
Under every word's a jaded heart.
Now give me your best and I'll take it, feel it, breathe it,
Then watch me throw it back to you.

Golden.

2009-05-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

having a mother-daughter moment : )

Happy Birthday Daddy:)

Thank You for all the motivational talks and for just being...what a father should be and more <3

Something to prove :D

2009-05-25T04:20:00.000-07:00

camwhored with a v.reluctant monster of a sister last night!

so she's usually cute like this :)<3

paul: " I don't know how to act ahbeng I only know how to act ahlian!"

look at my 'I have a freak behind me expression' HA HA

woah someone so model-esque huh hehe

HA sophia lim I uploaded the peeks already talk about efficiency 101! k time.to.get.to.work.euns!!!!(go me)

Getting There.

2009-05-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

"because I love her.But I can't make her happy"

this almost made me cry.but then again a lot of things has the ability to make me feel like crying nowadays.only I don't.seriously cannot wait for june hols to come although that'd mean one step closer to Alvls.met mil ytd to study and bumped into ugly lin jiaaaa:):) then after our usual xlb we took a long walk.from holland past sixth ave to bt timah stretch.and we talked,about growing up and how turning 18 isnt exactly the most glamourous age to be in.and...stuff.how we never can predict how to react to any situations nowadays.

Do you remember when we were just kids,and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss?schoolyard conversations take to the heart & laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not(Inevitable)

people always only told us what not to do,so we never really knew how to react when things actually happen.

(undiscovered)

2009-05-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

Talk to the wind,talk to the sun

Talk to the man with the reasons why;

Let me know what you find.

- - - - -

sigh I absolutely hate finding out things like that.

even though I knew it and/or was expecting things to happen right about now I didn't expect it to come from you.

can I just say I am really...upset.for you,and her,and us.

someone said it right when they said,

we are who we were when.

Starts with goodbye.

2009-05-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

you know it's funny how you say one thing and do another.

from now on,there will be no more trying to care,trying to be a good friend,no more,no more,none.
(I'm done)

All Blacks Day!

2009-05-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

Haha just had to put up my ecstatic face

Sun & Moon!

Operation All Blacks Day : Success

Real to me.

2009-05-15T01:00:00.001-07:00

OMG BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT 2009 IS AMAZING!<3<3<3>
haha can I just say I'm hooked onto it it's friggin' insane(!!!)
seriously, like FLAWLESS (Amazing dance act), Good Evans, Susan Boyle, the Greek dancers (HAHAHA)...they're all so entertaining + heartwarming I'm practically going 'aww...' at every scene :):):) beats AI hands down!ohoh and danny's 'you are so beautiful to me' song ytd was...ahh just hope someone uploads the vid of him singing asap cos' I could just listen to him forever and drown in his voice......HA HA I sound like a freak I know but you guys must watch it!!okay once I find out how to upload vids I shall post it here heh/
ooh and after school today paul and I went to get new shampoo!so excites haha shall go soak my hair in fragrance heaven later for all blacks!

- - - - - - -

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

second helpings

2009-05-12T05:14:00.000-07:00

Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster.
(only 17 and tired, yeah)

----
Mr Morrie please make Tuesdays a little more tolerable.

Change.

2009-05-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Birthday Paul Sim Yong Qiang!
(haha this picture of you is classic!)
- - - - -
anyway last friday was officially the last day of pjnetball!i'm prolly gonna miss some people but now it's full speed ahead for Alvls!YES I MUST KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT SO IT WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN : )
dinner after at fish&co. with pamwham(great music + great company <3 ) and we took neoprintz!HAHA ask me to show you it's pretty embarrassing really but vfun too!i'm gonna miss this girl.
ohoh and I slept for 12 hours ha ha it felt gooood :) three cheers for consecutive 4day weeks!

k must finish up lit stuff then meet TIPers + shaaan!

,for a friend :)

2009-05-09T01:37:00.000-07:00

happy 18th birthday atheens!!
[hahaha this is so cool it reads HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ATHEENS !! by the way :D:) ]

Spent.

2009-05-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

"it scares me that i'm not scared of how much i've changed (though it may not seem obvious, i am a good hypocrite, in that sense). there's no inward tug of heart strings when i hear a sob story, a friend's latest update, a distant person's life in general. in short, i'm pretty much disengaged from everything and everyone around me, but in some strange way, i still care. i just don't show it anymore.

now, i wonder what (or who?) made me this way."

- - - - -

it's so funny how she can be a million miles away but feel exactly the same way as I do.

School's killing me school's killing me school's killing me!Can't wait for this week to be over cos' I am lagging behind in all my subjects like crazy and it's not fun at all to play catch up.tmr's prolly gonna feel like the longest day of my school life it's so strange once again how sometimes I'm so used to feeling nothing that it almost feels normal.Almost.I have begun to feel entirely numb to my surroundings.Numb and cold and u n f e e l i n g.Yes this is what has become of us.Unfeeling creatures.

The floating prayer, dancing around

the sinking ashes, saying

"I am nothing, yet bear me up

a little longer".

Happier times.

2009-05-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHO I BUMPED INTO JUST NOW!!! :D :D :D

Ahhh I've missed you guys!!it was so awesome bumping into eunice&wanqi just now at lot1 heh so at first after dinner the usual 4 of us were gonna get more food when we saw this huge gang of rj people and I was thinking 'okay let's jsut get past them quickly they're in our way' when this GINORMOUS face appeared in front of me and before I knew it she was screaming into my face HAHAH aww both of them are so cute can't believe they switched ccas to floorball instead!It's been what,3 years?Time flies like crazy then I reminded eunice of her v embarrassing history of wanting to join..campus superstar(HAHA JOKER) and she just started singing shamelessly as if she were at the audition already!It was SO EMBRASSING cos' rachel&euniceling were with me too and you know how loud rachel's laughter is...

then integration integration (which was a major fail ohsigh) at the library and now I'm home reminding Rubbish of 3 years ago and catching up!ah I am rambling but I'm sooo happy to see all my old friends + familiar faces at kallang today :):):)

Three Cheers for Five Years

2009-05-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

ssl veg

it was supposed to be like this,

but our first flash shot captured our silly faces instead

'All things nasty' was burnt away that night!

triple major success:)

&pammy's brilliant idea of a glowstick train hahah

pictures shall be the order of the day!

vvhappy with my past weekends oh and happy labour day:)

"I've been going down so many roads in my head,all leading to absolutely nowhere.What do you have to say about that?"

"Well maybe these roads were made for journeys,not for destinations". (Anna and the King)

Part 1 (of many more to come)

2009-04-28T04:13:00.000-07:00

fatchow is so cute

check out my eyebags!

Happy Birthday Shanya Amarasuriya!!!<3

I hold it all when I hold you.

2009-04-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

"You see," he says to the girl, "you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling".

(Tuesdays with Morrie)

right now I'm wishing that I could sleep through Alvls and that the rash on my arms and legs would just disappear tgt with the itch.Anyways happy belated b'day rachel (with the fang)! thanks for always always being there love:)

The Old Familiar Faces.

2009-04-14T18:06:00.000-07:00

but thoughts they change and times they rearrange
they don't know who you are anymore.

there is this part of me outside me watching me that just watches everyone move right pass me while I'm still standing there.I don't like this.I feel like when I watch you I have to watch you secretly.
It's scary thinking that while there was a long period where the few of us crossed paths every single day,exchanging smiles and laughing and having the simplest conversations..it might never happen again.Ever.
and here I am,watching you get on with your life with all of us not having a significant part in it anymore..............this is very strange and very awful because none of us thought it was gonna end that way.and it's amazing how things work out- a song,a phrase,a particular laughter; of how it all jolts back the bittersweet and the old familiar.
sigh each day I'm trying to be happy.okay strikeout,I mean contented with the little that I have.and it's getting so tiring.I mean I have all these thoughts floating in my head,weighing me down and trying to get on with life as normal as I can but I'm honestly drowning...like I know there's this part of me that dies with each day.
sometimes I wonder if I didn't have what I had Who will I be now?
It's so friggin difficult to be standing on my own two feet at 17 because my soles are killing me.I don't even know if I can blame it all on impulsive decisions or an inevitable regret cos either way it suxx.

or maybe,
floaty is really my best suit.

The drum beats out of time.

2009-04-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

I took a step back,

and let you go.

Told you I'm not bulletproof

Now you know.

For you I am blinded

2009-04-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

my hands are still suffering from pss(post-showering syndrome) meaning it's still wrinkled from soaking myself in the shower.so Netball camp just ended I am damn tired + piling GP assignments to do sigh sigh I am soo feeling the monday blues now and TGIF was just ytd!!but anyway camp was pretty fun cos I got to revisit my childhood with rachel watching ... (HAHAHAHA) on the big screen she even lent it to me to watch at home how sweeet heh : ) but more on netball when I get the peeks from eunice!

- - - - -

I really hate saying this but school is killing me (as in boring me to tears) I can safely say that last year not once did I dread going to school but this year...ever since the start of the year (okay besides the first ultrafun camwhoring school week with our highwaisted skirts) +after orientation life in school pretty much went downhill.we're all laughing lesser (because we're supposed to be serious)when everyday in school last year was laughing non-stop with the TIPpers haha ohoh and random outings with limsingh ginny sits atiqs to the weirdest places I rmb we went to west coast just cos' we felt like it.all that just feels like a faint/distant memory now and I really really miss it.but I know I have to get through this.Alvls can be sucha mean bitch sometimes>:(

I miss my friendsssss

Stand Still Look Pretty

2009-03-29T05:45:00.000-07:00

Leighton Meester.<3<3<3

Why fight?

2009-03-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

you know it's always going to be like this.
when life gets increasingly better than before,you know you're just waiting for the downside.
you can expect the worst over and over again yet when it comes... you're still caught unprepared.& I really dislike how abrupt it is because change to me has always been uncomfortable.

(...)

Maybe someday.........................
love will finally be enough.

From everywhere and nowhere;

2009-03-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

from jaz : )

cuties : )

this makes babysitting all worth it :)

++ check out paw's super beng face HAHAHA

(see see!!hehehe)

- - - - -

they say that good things take time;

but really,great things happen in the blink of an eye.

how close is close enough?

2009-03-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

Cts can be such a draaaag.

because it's pouring outside.

2009-03-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

I refuse to watch SSOTP2 though it's already in my sister's lappie cos' I cannot accept that this might just be the last that I'll get to see the girls,together.sigh I am so in denial someone save me.oh and save me from my sore eye too.this is terrible/last night it was non-stop sneezing + rubbing my already sensitive eyes = sore eye this morning.should've seen it coming anyway this suxxx now I cant study/get out of the house how terms how!! COME ON EYES DONT FAIL ME NOW :( ohwells at least I know if I have to quit school I have a back up alternative career and that's to... BABYSIT or work at some childcare centre.not that I'm complaining cos' I abso-adore kids ttm but once again things could be so much better.Was just telling pammy how I'm so tired; since we learn in Lit that the search for the ending brings us back to the beginning, we should just...stop searching right??

Unfortunately not.

- - - - - - -

"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. you have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. what’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. at times, people need to fight for you. if they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. hopefully, people realize great things when they come around. and don’t lose something real. always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for."

salt in the wound.

2009-03-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

I'll be a beautful letdown

That's what I'll forever be

And though it may cost my soul I'll sing for free

We're still chasing our tails in the rising sun

In our dark water planet still spinning in a race where

No one wins and no one's won.

- - - - -

Last friday was Alevel results day!

So so thankful for the gentle reminder that

(All the roads they lead to where You are)

Remembering Sunday.

2009-03-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

So I was talking to pammy online and she reminded me to "renew the days of our youth" HAHAHA corny much then started sending me all those super old pictures back when we were.. all childlike (or childish whichever you prefer)!

Ohman this has nostalgia written all over it.

Swim meet 2007

The 'I-am-a-rebel/prefect' look

cheryl's chalet (june 2007) !

& nana at what she does best.

"i took a bus to school today.ooooooo i know i know, please applaud me.and there were these two j1 girls at the bus stop.with skirts just covering their asses, both touching their hair and talking and talking and talking...and talking.

and on the bus, they just went on like they were on a roll.and another group of girls + 1 boy sat behind me and started discussing the boys in our school.ok fine, nothing close to discussing.more like they were gushing.about their eyecandies.and i overheard a few names that made me giggle.they must have thought i was strange cos i was pretending to watch what was on tvmobile, and it was..the news :P

sigh, and i wanted a peaceful ride to school.guess we can't win all the time."
-pammy

(missyou too pammy<3)

shy away from the specifics.

2009-03-05T03:40:00.000-08:00

Know His power

In quietness and trust.

Here I am,

2009-02-28T02:56:00.000-08:00

our attempt at looking identical

amarasuriyaaaaa:)

utterly amazed at the little things that makes me feel so..blessed.

photos from last week at pammy's (three cheers for fb) + my v.wonderful group of ogl friends :)

I know I've been complaining bout how life has been so slow-moving and mundane ever since orientation ended but I am enjoying this peacefulness somehow though it strikes some sort of fear in me that this peacefulness is gonna end soon cos' of cts coming up...or my paranoia. (my head explosions are wasting my mind)

;

it's pouring outside-exactly the way I like it though I am dying knowing that my ipod just decided to shut itself down on me I NEED MY MUSIC (!!!) + I kinda miss shanise already.or again.but I love how we are; together yet apart, and how we don't have to see/talk to each other everyday yet still be so_close.

ok I should stop/gonna go indulge myself in some tv <3

Passion and silence,

Every word, every line, a measure,

It's the science of the soul,

And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know

(fav.song of the month)

Incognito

2009-02-23T17:34:00.001-08:00

I know this is the second post I'm making in less than 12 hours but;

I remember talking to shanise on Saturday night bout everything and anything and she reminded me that I didn't have to constantly do things within what others expected me to or how I don't have to act/behave according to how they would perceive me to be.I just have to be me cuz in the end everyone should be accountable to themselves and not anyone else... right?

you are the one.

2009-02-23T03:33:00.000-08:00

Hello,I've missed you.

--------------------------

School is getting so,boring.AND it' only the start of the year.Is this seriously how we're gonna get through 2009?

It's so strange becuz last week (which was rather terrible in so many ways) turned out also to be one of the most..comforting weeks ever. so thankful I got to catch up with almost all my mg friends over the weekend and it's really nice having friends you still keep close with you cos' they understand you without you having to explain anything.

& reminiscing. . . and realising that your friends still remember that particular set of memories only you thought you kept was, amazing/haha I literally screamed at venezia when pammy and I were talking bout what we used to do/call each other back in primary 2. . good times good times:)

On another note,was watching Hitch the other day and ...

Albert: You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. You know? I swear I'm, I'm going out of my mind. It's like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York. I, I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I'll stop thinking about her.

Hitch: Look, you will. Just give it time.

Albert: That's just it. I don't want to. I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... well, this is who I have to be

(I think everybody needs an Albert)

To sum it up,

2009-02-15T00:42:00.000-08:00

Orientation09 was amazing.

From Nat's ;

2009-02-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

That’s the thing you see, people form these impressions of other people and when you question such impressions you find that they’re completely baseless. I’m not saying this in defense of anyone, or with pointed fingers at anyone else its just.. If you say you dislike someone, and you cannot give a reason for such feelings then I don’t know what to say about you. For all you know people might be saying the same thing about you and then that leads to a whole lot of misplaced anger. And the sad irony is that you put yourself in a bad light by saying such things in the first place

Like, if the said nasty people offended you in any manner, or were rude to your friends, that’s a different matter but if they did nothing to you, then you have to ask yourself why you have such a strong.. Dislike. That you would actually voice it out to someone else. Disliking their lifestyle is very different from disliking the people behind that. That said, the choice of lifestyle says a lot about the person too

(gotta love her honesty)
- - - - -

this week has been [fill in whatever you like here]
So thankful for grace and sop :):)

but I'm not giving up.

2009-02-03T07:16:00.000-08:00

Orientation is so friggin tiring I feel like my hands/legs/every part of my body is somewhat shutting down on me..

on another note,this time of the year kinda brings me back to how last year our attitudes towards a new school,new friends,new everything was so exciting yet ( I wouldn't say it's a letdown cos' it isn't just that things could've been a lot different if _______. but I guess everything turned out the way it should)

plus I feel somewhat detached from so many things and people but I just don't feel like getting any of them back right now.

/3 years is a long time
.....................................

2009-01-30T22:12:00.000-08:00

sorry,but I don't even know what to say anymore.

2009-01-27T04:11:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR
(pull your ear)!!

zzzover

Reunion dinner with the family :)

Chinese New Year reunion dinner on sat..sun?(crap I have all my days mixed up) at Sakura and then visiting early next morning!first time in ,3 years back in s'pore again kinda miss the other side of the family and my daddy in KL :( anyways visiting was boring but car rides were super bonding fun with the cousins and we played 'I never never' which turned out to be really interesting then..more eating and an impromptu midnight movie (inkheart!which was pretty good actually) with three families and a sleepover after gosh I am exhausted + I had this somewhat infected left eye the whole time it's so annoyingly painful ugh and I just realised that almost all my cousins think I'm a certified bimbo.like HELLO I AM NOT A BIMBO OKAY I STUDY TOO !!! so late nights are seriously not me I don't think I can handle another 3am night again oh and the cousins just left my place after ..another round of eating hahah guess it's time to hit the tracks and start the diet plan !

BACK TO SCHOOL TMR :(

"They smile and smile and smile and smile at me.

And still the lungs won't fill and the heart won't start. "

Welcome to existence.

2009-01-20T04:47:00.000-08:00

School's been boring/hectic/lazy for the past week or so

Holiday peeks are up including night cycling & gift exchange on monday!that was fun although I do need to start learning how to ride a bike again..hahah on another note,

chanced upon a video online bout this old man who auditioned for American Idol two days after his wife died and I teared when he dedicated the song You Belong to Me to his 'lady'.

So I dug out my diary entry of a year ago -

"today I observed your back like how I remember I used to and it looked kinda old.I never expected you to,well age that fast neither did I expect your hair to be that white.you never meant that much to me but your presence counted for something.and I was thinking, has time really passed that fast?cos' the last time I actually took a good look at your back it wasn't as down nor were your footsteps as slow.and then your forehead; in all its glorious years I have never once saw wrinkles on it yet I can spy them gently creeping up on you now.

yet you never seemed less happier. "

Dear Grandpa,

wish you were here.

Hello, good morning, how've you been?

2009-01-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

I'm living again, awake and alive

I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

(fav song of the week)

because you had a bad day.

2009-01-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

Considering how today started off,it should've been classified under a 'bad day' but instead it wasn't so bad at all.Open house was pretty fun I think I haven't felt that much school spirit since..back in mg and that is quite sad. So one week into the new year and I am feeling positively bitter,after checking out my timetable and new teachers I kinda am starting to miss j1 and mdm lai all over again.I wish someone had told us last year that it was gonna be a pretty alright year and that we should have the time of our lives then if not never then maybe I would've played my heart out more.
I hate how things are right now - the stasis and everything; the bitterness and first class acting.Maybe it's time to make a new resolution for myself (might as well) - to not let anything get me down, ever. This suffocation is gonna have to go. I have to stop feeling for others and start loving myself a little more; even if it means hurting the people around me because I absolutely hate it when my feelings are disregarded for or when people keep quiet and not stand up for what is right. I hate...constantly feeling like this. Like life is stuck where it is and I'm not moving along.

but I am trying.
and I am tired.
cos after all, we're only human
always fighting what we're feeling;
hurt instead of healing
----------------------------
"I think we all - I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes "

To a very dear friend of mine

2009-01-07T07:22:00.000-08:00

Look how pretty ugly has become!:)

One last vv impt/special person to thank for pulling me through 2008 cos without her I would've died way back..

I'm feeling you.

2009-01-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

overdue peeks from sleepover at lyds' with my fav show &

[the most adorable babyemma:) ]

what a great way to start off 2009;

not started with revisions yet,plus holiday homework,plus ...

2008

2008-12-31T04:35:00.000-08:00

Dear diary,
2008 had been a rather eventful year for me;right to the 31st.at the beginning of the year I thought I was gonna die in a new school and struggling with almost everything got so common I'd always thought maybe I'll just give up now and drown in my misery.but Thank God for bitter beginnings with sweet endings.Never thought I'd ever say this,but actually I don't regret coming to Pj at all.guess it had to take me a whole round before I could finally take it all in, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I am extremely happy/grateful beyond words for v.special people who had stumbled into my path along the way and walked this year together with me.

You know the amazing feeling of finding strangers with the most contrasting personalities and .. clicking together; I mean not just 'click click' but when an accidental someone actually shares the exact same thoughts as you or when they unknowingly sing the words in your mind to the tune of your heart, it's magic; and people like them don't come by often. (trust me, I'm talking about people I never imagined I would befriend)
So just like any other years, 2008 was crazily unpredictable and greatly satisfying!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One of the most special friends one can ever have,

Quarters :) [ for being there]

BGSG
[ for being you ]

PW Group
[ for slogging all the late nights together]

Grace
[ for everyone needs a 'grace' to get through with life]

MG friends for life
[ for sticking it through ]

08A04
[ for being the best-est jc class anyone could have ]

Peejay mates:)
[ for making pj that much worth going to school for ]

SecretSix
[ for being together and apart ]

T.I.P!!

[ for always making me laugh ]

&with that,

I am ready for another brand new year.

you're just a line in a song.

2008-12-27T05:35:00.001-08:00

vv good lunch at ikea!:)

so secondary school but I like:)

HELLO LYDIA YOU HAVENT FINISHED TELLING ME YOUR STORY :D

Dear Char, I miss bitching with you cos we always feel the same way

more adorable pictures of baby emma when I am in a better mood

p.s. Sorry,but you're the closest thing to making me hate.

Seven things.

2008-12-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

You know it's Christmas when..

1. starbucks starts coming up with their new festive recipes

2. you start hanging out more with your loved ones because there's no better time than now:)

3. you get to watch all your fav christmas movies and feel all warm inside

4. it's always raining (!!)

5. the night seems a lot brighter than the day

6. everyone around you seems to be happier

7. you start living and loving.

Merry X'mas Everyone!<3

Once upon these days.

2008-12-17T23:05:00.000-08:00

my girls:)

look at the magnificent nightlights!

supper at 1am

Together and apart.

Muchlove.

2008-12-16T06:37:00.001-08:00

Guess who's back!!(I know I'm terribly late but still:D )
&yessss finally meeting them again tmr miss you all much!!

From Brrnice:)

"Well, it's no secret that the best thing about a secret, is secretly telling someone your secret! Thereby secretly adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets...secretly"

-Spongebob Squarepants

k I am highly motivated to...do something well for the first time in my life.

we shall see the results tmr(!!! go me)

I wanna run through the halls of my high school.

2008-12-12T03:28:00.000-08:00

outing with bestfriend!

hahah what were we wearing.

first time up at mg rooftops

BEST.

so I'm all alone in the room now while the girls are wandering around the hotel;gonna head down to collect the pizza soon .. life has been tiring but I'm happy.

edit/
the past week or so I've finished my china stuff,went to the library a gazillion times,painted my living room,went over to kelly's for some girl stuff,slept over at lyd's for our belated quarter catchup,dinner with shanise,went back to mg for netball camp,had some of the best netball times...and the worst,and hotel stay on friday.

I am exhausted.

the hotel stay was one of the most fun stuff that week though-chickflick movie marathon for 24 hours (and i'm not kidding cos we brought our own dvd player haha),curled our hair,supper at marina square at 1am,headed home to drop our stuff and change out followed by twilight at night (which was really good for me cos edward is friggin cute I dreamt that he was holding my hand last night and we were running along the corridoors of some high school that you only see in movies hahah go ahead and laugh but that dream was kinda cool heh) so yeah,one of the bestest way to spend the holidays I love the girls <3>

Romeo save me they're trying to teach me how to feel.

2008-12-09T22:22:00.001-08:00

it's happening again and it's a vicious cycle that I know is bad for me but I still allow it to happen anyway.so I'm thinking,if I make this decision will I live to regret it?though the stronger part of me says I wouldn't;I couldn't,there's nothing that could possibly hold me back.hate feeling like this.hate the overwhelming feeling of. . . sudden sadness that hits you unannounced and throws you off your feet.must shake this thought away (but why does it keep coming back?)

no,it cant be sadness because you only experience sadness when you let yourself feel it.it's more like..discontentment with the way things are,with the place I am right now,with things that could have been; if only . . . but there are too many 'if-only(s)' to worry about//

I think it's time to go home.

I'm walking on sunshine

2008-12-08T01:04:00.000-08:00

gotta love pammy's face hahah

yay i am happy eunice:)

magsim hyung maxim hyung hahahha

"can we have some music please!"

Yesterday was really awesome I love how all 9 of us could make it and it was vv nice that we could wear our mg school u again loveyou alll<3>

anyways the hols has been pretty good to me and now it's dec means..it's jan next month and school's starting omg so not ready for it yettt k enough with the negativity i'm just so glad that china is over at least that's one load off my mind ooh and now i'm looking forward to christmas which i hope is gonna be really really goood!will blog again later seeeyaaa!

2008-12-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

ugh this china thing is so severely pissing i hate it when grownups refuse to admit their mistakes >:(

WARNING: spoiler ahead.

2008-11-19T02:29:00.000-08:00

ANTM ANTM ANTM besttttt peek

Analeigh plz win (!!!)

BYEBYE BEAUTIFUL :(:(:(:(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FATTEST!!!!<3

proper birthday post cos' i'm feeling well and alive right now:)

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY FATS!

you are so adorable and growing up so so fast i'm so glad that now we're having so many sister talks at night (maybe cos it's the hols and I can never fall asleep at night) but it's cool you're the best and the ultimate cutest (I know I sound gross but whatever she's the bez) love you don't grow up so fast k !<3<3<3

- - - - -

ooh and today I managed to catch an ep. of 90210 on starworld and it's pretty good so once ANTM cycle 11 is finally over (oh no!) at least I have something to keep me occupied since everyone's all over the place . . . haha and maybe asking people to comment on a memory of me and them might not be sucha great idea cos HI LYDIA can't believe you actually mentioned what we were talking about long ago it was sucha faint memory hahaha but okay fine keeep the comments coming !

2008-11-17T22:36:00.000-08:00

I.feel.sick.
:X

2008-11-15T01:56:00.001-08:00

so my dad just walked in to tell me our travel plans and that we might be gone for ..two weeks??guess it could be quite fun but I want to visit the beach real badly!!oh and ytd was the netball bbq thing it was extremely traumatising + grace had to leave early so I was left with TWO THINGS that loitered near the bbq area seriously I could've teared my skin apart from scratching it in fear but thank goodness for people like sylvia and lyn+shirleen(not much help though you two haha) who saved me or I think I would have died ohsigh my phobia is really getting to another level HOW HOW HOW cannot live like this...ohyeah and met char last night too yay so we caught up and walked two busstops to digest our meals quite satisfied with how life is right now and I hope all my friends are doing well too plz dont kill yourself for whatever you guys are going through though it might be torture (HAHAHA atheens your karen story!!!)k must get off the comp now time to shower and meet bernice+amelia!!:)

Say something anyway.

2008-11-13T05:17:00.000-08:00

if you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now - even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and i. It can be good or bad, it can be anything you want. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

p.s. do leave your name if you want to be remembered!

Girls in codes.

2008-11-10T04:01:00.000-08:00

Ugh I am so jealous and pissy now there's smth wrong with my speakers so I can't watch my ANTM cycle 11 (hello i'm already two episodes back this is not fair I think I might just cry) and my camera cable is misssing so right now when i'm not feeling lazy I cant upload photos so i'll have to make do with halloween's long ago hahah k not really I kinda miss shan and her obsessive habit of bridge now she's gone for don't know how long to disneyland so I hope she has fun over there I still cant get over her "opportunities galore" thing HAHAHA quite retarded omg and I realised my sentences have no fullstops or commas to them ah who cares it's so fun rambling anyways...

okay moving on I am vvjealous of something but I cannot say it now cos 'now' just seems so inapproriate and childish..I shall just wish that this feeling will go away soon haha denial denial denial! [why can't I?]

oh and I was just thinking over dinner jsut now how I always procrastinate a lot thinking I have a lot of time ahead of me to finish a certain task and yes it's true having lots of time to finish something could be a good thing right?NO cos' I end up not doing it at all or punishing myself with v little time to finish it; I think I might actually like the thrill of having to complete an uphill task with v little time...I AM QUITE A PSYCHO ACTUALLY and no it's not any specific incident that got me thinking on this just the whole chinese As thing sparked off this train of thoughts looking back I feel so bad and guilty cos I think I secretly like chinese a little back in seconday school which was why I did okay but then here in pj I had an entire year to prepare for chinese As + I had extra notes from cassandra right from the start of the yr but I kept putting off reading the notes and getting it right I think I might end up failing my chinese As and I can only blame myself.(AH I just jinxed me again but I deserve it)I don't think my sec.school chinese teacher whom I respect a lot would be proud if she sees me now:X

so this goes into my list of new year resolutions, to NOT procrastinate (or at least with the little things)!oh I painted my room pink today and now I can't wait for christmas:)

"A04 IS FREAKING LEGEND"

2008-11-07T20:51:00.001-08:00

got too lazy uploading..hahah the rest of the pictures are floating around fb now so go check them out if you want to!

bright lights and promises

2008-11-03T06:11:00.000-08:00

they were gambling!!

our attempt at looking scary haha

I love chicken pies:)

I ended up being a fairy for the broken-hearted how cool is that hehe:)

bounce bounce bounce

shanise and alex ruining our moment

excellent photography skills hehehe

favv pic of the night

Proper halloween post!

haha halloween this yr wasn't exactly halloween-ish cos we were too late for trickotreating but we had fun playing with face paint and everything else nonetheless!and it was awesome seeing cheryl hannah shanise and everyone else again:) too many peekchas and hahah I just realised how retarded my previous post was but I had to vent it out on smth..right?class bbq/pool party tmr cant wait k cannot be excited dont wanna jinx it or anything but yay sundresses seeyaaa!

SOCKS SUCKS!!!!!!:(

2008-11-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

proper halloween post will be done tmr cos my mum is chasing me off the comp now>:(
anyways I need to blog about smth but I cant really name it so let's just call it SOCKS.
I hate socks and I dont wanna socks anytime soon cos it all just doesn't make sense (to those whom I've been talking to bout socks and my extreme sudden dislike;heck it's hatred would understand) AND I CANT STRESS HOW MUCH I REALLY REALLY AM DREADING SOCKS cos it's coming and ahhhhh just the thought of it makes me wanna scream and cry and pull my hair out at the same time.I am being very silly and immature right now about my feelings but I CANT STAND SOCKS!!!!how socks became so annoying to me nowadays shocks me but then again maybe it was always there..this immense hate and discontentment..hate socks plz next yr plz come now now now :(
I am miserable and pathetic and the only thing that can cheer me up would be...
BETTER SOCKS THAT FIT ME or WEARING NO SOCKS AT ALL (without getting into any trouble xiexieeee)

Love will lead you back.

2008-10-29T04:10:00.000-07:00

OMG since putting up the pic of paw and me playing rockband at limsingh's as my MSN pic everyone's been asking me if he's my bf HELLO HE IS SO NOT MY BF i purposely put up this pic of him to let everyone know his true side HAHAHAHA sry paw pls dont kill me (see how pervy he looks!!)

Anyways after reading shan's blog I fell in love with this phrase too so like cheryl I am gonna do these words justice and post it again :)

"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweat and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. and most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong."
(Credits: Shanise Ho)

2008-10-27T02:50:00.000-07:00

Pw at fuzz jsut now was pretty awesome-strange how when i'm finally feeling a little closer to my group mates it's all gonna end soon..ohwellllls look at the peeekchas I badly need to thread my brows asap!:S

Let the good times roll.

2008-10-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

"I WANT TO CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN TRICKORTREATING OR SOMETHINN,I WANT I WANT. "
---
hahah so I opened up my email today to that and it was a nice feeling.shaan you have not changed...much?:D

anyways I have a lot to put down - limsingh's thing and all but again,I still have pw to do (I can't wait for this friday so it'll officially be over and i'll prolly be the happiest girl on earth tgt with everyone else and maybe catch HSM3 finallyy)

life is good but it could always be so much better.
'and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart'
[thankyou lx:) ]

2008-10-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

the bez present to give someone right (inside)

national polo don't mess!

just spreading some TIP-ness around...

hyung so hottttt:)

one big bag of bones and me hehe

okay the 'people we miss' party pictures are up!

got back promo results ytd and I am quite satisfied with my results :)

okay too lazy to blog must change blogskin soon byeeeee

I LOVE MY FRIENDS FOREVER

2008-10-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

I am a mixture of wanting to puke (bus-sick) and wanting to cry and I think I could die of happiness somehow.

The day we've all been waiting for will come..tomorrow and I don't know guess the prolonged waiting for our papers back just took the anxiety and fear away ( pls words don't come back and haunt me) okay now is so not the time to get worried cos' I'm feeling a chokeful of emotions (literally) and could just start crying..sigh what is wrong with me but I'm seriously in one of my happiest moods now island creamery today with tippers & sits followed by sushi crave so off to KAP which was prolly a good decision cos' I got to meet shanya & son! both of whom I havent spoken to in the longest time and we had quick catch-ups and haha mini confession??but yay they look so cute in their new ponchos hahah am going crazy but I like this feeling.must be moodswinging or smth heh I LOVE MY FRIENDS (ALL OF YOU) seriously you guys mean a lot to me;different ppl at different random times oh and I'm gonna miss mdm lai's lessons too k just rambling off random thoughts in my head would put pictures of friday's 'people we miss' party but it's on..facebook and I refuse to get it cos I am..technically challenged,kinda.

OH and I am terribly excited and happy for those of you who promoted!(shan yours is a miracle no not that you're stupid i'm just so so proud of you<3) So congrats to Sa,Shan,Cheryl,Lyd,Gabriellee ... !!! k bet you all are irritated by reading this but I don't care ooh and class theme party soon details are highly confidential for now heh ++ X'mas is coming !! (fav. time of the yr) oh and i've started on my personal diary (yes grace finally) it really is helpful should've started ages ago my last entry was all the way back in... jan 2008 (sigh kinda miss that period would go back again cos then I didn't hate school that much in fact I liked school cos it was fun now school's just being very...schoolish which isn't cool at all)

alright this was from grace so I guess I'll do it since I'm waiting for my dinner;

seven different things you'd like to say to seven different people, tag another seven.

1. I miss our corridoor conversations (long and short) and you are seriously a blessing :):)
2. You are beautiful, both outside and in and I love you for who you are!
3. am honoured that you still tell me secret stuff that you'll never ever tell others <3
4. yes you guys have had huge impact on my lives too:)
5. you're not as bad as other people say you are, you're actually really nice and I like you as a friend
6. sincerely hope that someday you'll find your own pillars instead of those colourful pillows you keep surrounding yourself with.
7. why can't I.

okay gonna try the mac&cheese thingy that sits introduced!:)

2008-10-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

After a self-declared 2 day hiatus from school (5 day hol!) I missed the tippers so much that I decided to return to school today and it was frickkin fun I love the tippers hahahha it's like everyday we get up to the weirdest things (like having a competition on who can blow off the most UNO blocks and whatnot) heheheh lovelovelove never had so much crazy endless laughter until I met you guys so thank you all for being so awesomeo!:):):)

okay too tired too much work to do which reminds me- I skipped chinese mock today again to go play in the sanctuary and then got caught when I was walking out with paul and atheens HAHA LUCKY ME thank goodness she was really nice but that means now I've got TWO mockpapers to hand in to her by friday HELP?

+ cant wait for our theme (class?) pool party yay yay yay

Life is good
peekchas up when I get it all from faith/grace!

So many beat up cars on the dirt road.

2008-10-08T05:11:00.001-07:00

"why is it so friggin hard to like this school?"

- - - -

school sucks school sucks school sucks school sucks life sucks.

"but then again it is only when you place hopes on something that you get disappointed when it doesn't turn out the way that it does"

I am veh upsetz but I have lost all ability to think and put down my thoughts into words.Took ten thousand years to get home tonight.
How,did everything change so quickly and dramatically in such a short span of,8 months?tired of being tired (I think I need some sunrise)

Hello,to high and dry.

2008-10-04T01:09:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAH LIMSINGH IN RG UNIFORM!

was supposed to meet Mil & sharon today but interhouse left me aching all over even the muscle in my right palm aches like craap ahsigh and we didn't even know who won floorball + ultimate frisbee was..the ultimate.(sigh I feel so bad now cos I just had this rlly intense phone conversation with my mum)

anyways yesterday we were feeling random and impulsive and young so we headed down to limsingh's place to drop our stuff off before going over to westcoast for some cycling!imagine how sad we were when we realised the bicycle rental thing closed down ten thousand yrs ago HAHA but we had tons of fun nonetheless!fake flying fox + obstacle course race yay but that was extremely tiring (gosh we're highly unfit ppl) so yesterday + day before post-promos activities were so damn fun but draining..

k gonna watch montana now byeee!

Mama Mia!

2008-10-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

my.eyes.are.shutting.at.the.speed.of.light

so goodnight yesterday felt like forever and today's pictures will be up...tomorrow.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

2008-10-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

you shout cos you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.

(remember this?:)<3)

Post-promos was definitely fun and very tiring and sitting beside Berhan during a movie like Mamamia is a big no-no cos' he frikkin comments at every single line in the movie hahahha but it was so damn fun singing and dancing in the cinema and I think yesterday marked the day I officially had an intellectual proper conversation with him cos most of the time it's about..girls sigh what else.Today I got up feeling as sick as ever,must be the lackof sleep daaaamn I miss my friends (where'd all the good people go?) but everyone's still having their papers now or too busy.

On another note,dear friend,I hope you're okay;

(because there is a light that never goes out.)

Times they rearrange.

2008-09-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

fantastic camera skills

XLB day + Ice-cream + Unproductive studying session!<3

sigh I should stop pretending promos are really officially over (though I know it is for some,siti i hate you heh) can't wait for tuesday!Mama mia oh and err berhan you wanna pluck your eyebrows?!!Got a new camera yay i'm jealous cos' my mum got my sisters fantastic shopping stuff in m'sia and all I got was...jackfruit chips grr.

edit/

HAHAHHA OMG _______ has friendster!!!!:D:D:D:D:D can't believe it cos' she ttly disappeared after school ended last yr WHAT ON EARTH

i miss january;can't wait for december and i badly need to cut my fringe soon :(

ANTM

2008-09-27T00:38:00.000-07:00

Favourite<3

Marjorie

Promos are finally over-I can't believe it,it seems like right from the time we came into Jc everyone's been drilling into us how important it is to promote and all (like promos kinda sums up our entire j1 and this is it.it's now over)So it's just about time that I can finally take some time off to relax and do things that I enjoy doing oh and watching ANTM latest cycle 11 it's amazing I wrote an entire list of what I wanna do and hopefully I get to it:)

Anyway!Get well soon grace stop scaring all of us with hospital visits and whatnots,i'll write you an email soon!<3

Need some sunrise.

2008-09-13T01:14:00.000-07:00

This was exactly a week ago with the Quarters!had a lovely talk with lyd by the pool that day on school and secrets..Grace and I have great plans for our after promos activities now I just cant wait for promos to come and go daaaaamn.EUNICE YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND START STUDYING NOWNOWNOW.I especially miss: 1. lydia bernice and amelia 2. quarters 3. secretsixers <3

hate pw and proud of it!:)

2008-09-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

RULES:1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

---
1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
You and I Both Loved- Jason Mraz ( haha reasonable enough!)

2.How would you describe yourself?
See You Again - Miley Cyrus (How does this describe me at all?!!)

3.What do you like in a girl/guy?
Closer to You - Brandi Carlile (don't know what this means..)

4.How do you feel today?
If It Kills Me- Jason Mraz

5.What is your life’s purpose?
I Still.. -Backstreet Boys (hahaha yesyes my life purpose is to become a BSB!)

6.What is your motto?
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz (gosh this is making me sound sooo lovesick ugh)

7. What do your friends think of you?
I Guess You're Right - The Posies (what is this song doing in my ipod?!)

8. What do you think of your parents?
Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K (my parents will be proud to hear of this ahah)

9.What do you think about very often?
Slide Along Side -Shifty (okay i hope nobody knows this song!)

10.What is 2 + 2?
One Way - Hillsong (haha funny how 2+2 = ONE way)

11.What do you think of your best friend?
Leave It all to Me - Miranda Cosgrove (this sounds positive!)

12.What do you think of the person you like?
You are the Music in Me - HSM (HAHAHHA no I am not embarrassed to listen to HSM cos' they're addictive)

13.What is your life story?
What About Now - Chris Daughtry (yess what am I doing with my life now ohgosh)

14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
Here in your Arms - Hellogoodbye (eeee this is so annoying how it doesn't make sense!)

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Built to Last - Melee (AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA)

16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
Damaged - Danity Kane (this.one.killed.me. haha but i guess everyone would have fun dancing to it?)

17.What will they play at your funeral?
Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney (yes please!:) )

18.What is your hobby/interest?
Safe in a Crazy World- Corrine May (yesyesyes it is in my interest to stay safe and not get killed)

19.What is your biggest fear?
The Beauty in Ugly - Jason Mraz (my greatest fear is to be the UGLY in BEAUTY)

20.What is your biggest secret?
Potential Break-up Song - Aly & Aj (oh no?)

21.What do you think of your friends?
Indescribable- Chris Tomlin (EVERYONE THANK ME NOW HEHE)

22.What will you post this as?
Apologise - One Republic (sorry you had to read this I'm boreeeed)

okay that was entertaining there's actually one more qn ask me if you're interested but I won't post it up here cos' it's tooo.. okay ask me for the qn hahah ooh and I got a long email from berniceczl<3 kk gotta reply her/school tmr I need to finish my hw now(!!) byee.

Long Time Coming.

2008-09-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

060908 I don't know what to wish for.

Happy after,once upon these days.

2008-09-04T06:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry but we were imitating you-know-who's face..haha

I like this picture:)

Nike Race/BLG/Teachers' Day visit back to Mg/Surprise Birthday Party

Dear friends,

Thank you ALL for the really wonderful surprise that you guys gave I seriously had no clue which was the best part hehe can't believe you guys tricked me!&it was really nice to see all of you since I didn't know you guys were in school in the first place!oh and thanks paw,for opening up your place again:) Haha but paw was damn stupid cos' when he came down to pick Grace & I up he was all excited when I questioned him why he was being so random as to invite us to his place to study and being all un-pawlike he went "because promos are coming!so we gotta study!" (with flinging exciting hand gestures and all haha) PLUS he totally made me RE-DO the coming out of the lift surprise thing cos he didn't capture my surprised look on his camera ohsigh hahah.Pizza party after followed by swimming with the BGSG in our uniforms!that was fun cos' ginny & siti cannot swim at all so we decided to be all brave and held hands to jump in together!then we went crazy and attempted (failed) to perform some synchro swimming and had relay races!then it started to rain so we went to the smaller pool and made our own rain dances in the water but that was too exhausting so we settled for some yoga instead hahahah.ohoh!and then the five of us went to the steam room to dry off and started singing to the tunes of britney spears,bsb,sclub and what not it was crazy fun everyone plz go to atheens blog for the hilarious pictures that we took after that to kill time cos' it was raining and we couldn't go home.But I had so much fun (i felt guilty for not studying but ahhwell),can't describe the feeling but I was touched:):):) So thanks a million once again to,in no particular order,

1. the ironic planners (paul,ale,atheens)

2.grace (for the very clever distraction)

3. zara,lingxin,ky(thanks for coming down even though prelims are so near!)

4.ginny,siti,puiyee,berhan!

ohdear I hope I didn't miss out on anyone!

On another note,I'm really thankful for this Sept hols cos it's been turning out pretty well..finally got to meet up with Char for dinner tonight with Shan so that was nice,managed to catch up over some sushi:) Thank God some things are still the same I really missed my going home buddies.

All powerful,unchangeable

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same

You are amazing,God.

you shout cos' you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.

2008-09-01T07:48:00.001-07:00

This is gonna be a pretty long post.

Nike Human Race yesterday turned out really eventful,had a great time with the class and saw many people there that I haven't seen in a damn long time.Boys like girls (HAHAHA shan "boys meet girls" inside)were amazing too-crazy fun watching paul ale and atheens fake sing along to their songs cos they don't exactly know them heh.Woke up bright and early at 11am today with smses from gabriel lee that he could hardly sleep last night cos' of his knee haha hope you feel better now!+got a msg from shaaan to study tgt:) so we did,okay not really study study cos I had to leave early for netball but yess it was nice catching up with you again after so long.

On another note, today left me...weird.like,dry and hanging.Pardon the sudden change in mood it's just...well I don't know thoughts in my head..words.incomplete.Hate the incoherrent thoughts I just can't help feeling like this.I feel as if I just had an unfinished conversation with someone,as if I just talked to that person but..so far away?How can we be so different yet feel so much alike?

"oh yeah,I'm studying Law right now with her.The rest?well,did you know that she went on to become a President Scholar?ohwell but what's new haha..so,the other 2 are studying medicine now,one's in architecture.."

Crazy how some people were just born brilliant,you know?As if they had their whole lives mapped out for them right from the start;while others just can't seem to get anything right.
floating... Strange how we got to go through so much just to inch a little forward yet sometimes it's still not right.

---

“If there were a way of putting an end to himself by some purely mental act he would put an end to himself at once, without further ado. His mind is full of stories of people who bring about their own end – who methodically pay bills, write goodbye notes, burn old love letters, label keys, and then, once everything is in order, don their Sunday best and swallow down the pills they have hoarded for the occasion and settle themselves on their neatly made beds and compose their features for oblivion. Heroes all of them, unsung, unlauded. I am resolved not to be any trouble. The only matter they cannot take care of is the body they leave behind, the mound of flesh that, after a day or two, will begin to stink. If only it were possible, if only it were permitted, they would take a taxi to the crematorium, set themselves down before the fatal door, swallow their dose, then before consciousness dwindles press the button that will precipitate them into the flames and allow them to emerge on the other side as nothing but a shovelful of ash, almost weightless.”

"A leg gone: what is losing a leg, in the larger perspective? In the larger perspective, losing a leg is no more than a rehearsal for losing everything. Whom is he going to shout at when that day arrives?Whom is he going to blame?"(Slow Man)

Indescribable.

2008-08-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

Okay so dinner tonight was extremely weird- we were sitting comfortably in our seats eating when my Mum suddenly goes "ohyeah this coming friday's a holiday right?we can have Ladies night!sleeping at 2am and waking up at 9,good idea??"
And then she looks at my sisters and I in the most earnest/excited face ever and so not motherly which pressed me to ask her "Are you still my mother?" (!!)

Hahahahahha guess craziness runs in the family.

I'll see you on the flipside.

2008-08-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's studying session!: )

(The heart never lies.)

"Hello, I miss you quite terribly".

p.s. good to know you're having the time of your life

Feels like Today

2008-08-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

Some head-banging unproductive studying sessions haha

HAHAHAHAHA this was hilarious.

So I've not been in school for the past two days,ooh but I passed my Maths test and it's my first-yesss I know shush.V happy cos' I actually understood what I was doing:):):) oh and then there's econs...ahsigh.Moving on, ytd was a relatively good day.Spent my morning with Grace and Atheens and the entire day with Siti (she doesn't stop talking)-anyways GET WELL SOON BERNICE!<3 oh and highlight of the day was pretty much bumping into kerry at KAP cos she totally went MIA for the past 6 months and she looks so good and healthy now very happy for her.

Perhaps we're all better off where we are now.

Waiting for my rocket to come.

2008-08-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

In quietness and trust;

2008-08-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

plz donate blood :)

(space doesn't do the tricks time can)
rather be alone in love than alive with you and dead.

Must have done something right.

2008-08-05T05:35:00.000-07:00

Ale's 'I-just-woke-up' face
1/2 of 08A04

AHAHHAHA "Let's have fun!"

Paw's 1st time at threading!
HELLO:)
School started at 1230 today for me and so tiring tuesdays got a little more bearable + precious free period + after school unplanned activities = good day.I want my wrist to recover faster so I can start playing softball with the class instead of being the photographer cos they always look like they're having so much fun.I've been missing out on too many econs classes- very worrying.And I've not started panicking bout promos isnt this going wellll.Anyways cant wait for fridaaaay:)

ohoh and this was a pleasant surprise:

your voluminous two-toed sloth couldn't have been very hungry says:
i don't come online usually, but you still have my number right? so anytime you wanna catch up or something you can just text?

okay no one will understand why this message made me happy hahah :):)

2008-08-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

okay ass is a nice person;impression of him changed 180degrees today he was just being friendly and not himself hahah.

random peekchas from study date with jiali&zara ytd!

eom calls byeee

The Great Escape.

2008-08-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

okay I'm finally calm enough to talk about what happened.
(not going to write it here but you can ask me i'll tell)
thank you,everyone who asked/bothered to check up on me,very much appreciated:)

Friday night was awesumo;cannot put it down in words but I've not had so much fun before since...a very long time.Running on sand,sleeping on slides,sitting on top of the train,riding and flying on unstable cars,screaming and spinning and cartwheeling and making new friends.people who didn't mind being our friends though they were 10x cooler than us(ho jong could speak 4 languages and he is primarytwooo we all ought to be ashamed of ourselves.)
For that moment we forgot how miserable we were,letting our hair down and having the time of our lives and I wouldn't want to spend those times with anyone else but you two:):):)
Times like these I'm extra grateful for the simple pleasures in life that gets me through.

- - - - - - -

And you;it's been so long(and painful)
you've consistently failed to see the people around you,the people who truly matter.
I wish you best now I'm letting you go.

just when I thought school was getting better.

2008-07-30T04:40:00.000-07:00

but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

i'm really upset.
k dont wanna talk bout it makes me cryyyy.

long nights filled with your most obvious weakness;

2008-07-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

School's been better this week.okay not really with the crazy number of tests we have but I've been having fun.Yesterday was crazy-went for lunch at the Rail Mall during our break to satisfy cravings and ale paul atheens and I are forever talking bout the most random stuff ever,it's weird and freaky how our brain floats in and out from serious topics to silly thoughts all in one fleeting moment.Night study was highly unproductive cos I only brought my China Studies book and seriously never have the mood to study China ohsigghhh.Thank God for siti cos' the BGSG ttly went crazy reciting 'wait a minute' heheh.TODAY during chinastudies lecture atheens suddenly suggested we go to Little India to get stuff for racial harmony day tmr!(yes,our school celebrates it late)So we had really good Indian food it was like a field trip/backpacking overseas thing without paw who went for his first modelling shoot thing and got our beautiful saris:):) oh and congrats son for you know what(;

happy racial harmony day!

Night study

2008-07-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

This is proof to friends that I haven't seen/missed that I'm happy and alive and stressing and tired and still being me.Hope you're okay and Lydiaaa I forgot your Aussie no. pls text me soon!

If the bright lights blind your eyes;

2008-07-26T05:25:00.001-07:00

Founders yesterday was pretty good,got to see most of my classmates/old friends/brilliant freaks/happy people..Mg's really a place close to our hearts.And yess,nostalgia ttm I can't even find the right words to express it but I like it that way because (quoting Amanda) that makes our Mg experience all the more special to each of us<3
Crashed Ac with shan cos dawn&char had to go back for classes so we sat at the grandstand and had a very nice conversation with pammy.Saw brrnice+amelialove+lots of other ppl whom I havent met in a while: ) then headed back for nightstudy(okay wasnt really studying cos I met siti and we chatted for a really long time haha) - - So after a very relaxing 12 hour sleep went to meet GP group for project!Had my dosage of PEAsq(without ale cos she lives so far away)since I ttly missed it ytd poor Atheens barely survived sorrysorry!after not much work done we decided to leave since it was kinda getting late so assyraft&jared left and paul treated us to cafecartel (thanks paw!) School's been alright(for lack of a better word),seriously thanks to PEAsq or i'lll just die.

--
I called,
You answered
and You came to my rescue and I
wanna be where You are.

Anyways hannah if you're reading this we all have our days hope you're feeling better now i'll call you soon/meet during the Sept hols!:)

Just so you know,

2008-07-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

trying gets very tiring when you're the only one fighting for it.
---
this pretty much sums it up.

Who are you now.

2008-07-19T04:38:00.000-07:00

Why do you do what you do.
--
Friday was absolutely-dramatic day and I found myself with 4 heavy things weighing my head now.Strange because I was angry at you initially then I realised that you're really not worth the time in my head cos I've got better things to worry about.Spending time with Son on thursday in the canteen/library was nice.And yes,she too has come to know of my paranoia disorder hahah it's really not funny how much I stress over little things.Yes grace you laugh at my plight I ttly understand BUT I CANNOT HELP IT:D

Okay reply to tags here:
Sop: Hey!I just linked you and nooo I didn't call you fats/ugly but you have to let me!!:)
Joash: Haha I did?No la I'm not sad I just think a lot I guess.
Grace: Aiyah srsly cant be bothered if the links work or not!haha but at least it shows if you get what I mean.

how close is close enough.

2008-07-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

I don't know;don't really like talking bout how I feeeeel.
One day,I wish to be able to talk to you openly bout everything and anything,to wear my heart on my sleeve just because we're that close already and I know you know what's on my mind.To go back and do the things we love to do,things only we would do because we're that crazy and embarrassing together.

Aiya wth why am I even thinking bout this jhfkjdkjsnkfhakjhf maybe i'm too bored and havent seen you for so long.ugh snap out of it.

anyways!today grace & I snuggled into a slide at the playground(it was raining)and talked,about drugs and medication hehhe inside.must do it again:)

Say you wanna change the world
what're you waiting for?

2008-07-13T00:29:00.000-07:00

Look what I found!this was chennai trip 06`

I hope your lungs feel better:)

hahaahha really random before staffroom(ra)!gosh I miss.

"Good morning starshine,the earth says hello!"

&this,havent seen in months.

Thursday was a good day:)

so lydia came and left,and we had a feast for dinner that night and laughed like shit and yess it got gross for a while but I had damn a lot of fun I square bernice that Alpha loves me heh.

me: bernice!i'm so sorry I forgot your dog's name:X

her: it's okay call it anything you want!!

I've got so much to do with too much on my mind ugh I hate pw,reaaaaally hate it.

cant wait til the cast comes off tmr/+ breakfast bright&early with mildreeed<3

we all need someplace we can hide inside.

2008-07-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

i'm so scared to feel so safe

Mids were surprisingly okay,too much to type out here with very weak one hand so update next time!

2008-07-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

ahh I'm so sorry I couldn't make it for dinner puiyee I went home to drop off my bag first only to realise that I forgot my keys.Brilliant.
anyways!chinese was encouragingly bad and I PASSED MY H2 CHINA :):):)
hehehe